my future in 4 paragraphs

Hello folks,

I’m off on another round of travels. These trips seem to come in groups, which I love, but which is also a bit stressful. As many of you know, in 2005 I spent 6 months living in Honduras as a house parent for 10 children whose parents either abused them or simply didn’t want them. That ministry (the LAMB institute) has now grown to provide a permanent home for more than 60 children as well as food and education to over 200 children in a slum of the city of Tegucigalpa. The various ministries of LAMB have grown quickly and there is much to tell. So, it was with a lot of excitement (and very little experience) that I told the stateside board that I would gladly accept the challenge of filming, photographing, and creating a simple video to convey the past, present, and future of LAMB. 

So, from January 23 - 31, I will be participating in a medical missions trip to some of the poorer areas of Tegucigalpa as both a nurse and interpreter, Then, from February 1 - 6, with the help of a good friend, Courtney, I’ll be gathering as many pictures and interviews as possible and flying back to the States to put the video together (with the help of my trusty Mac helpers at One-toOne!). I will be going back to Honduras on February 19th to see the dedication of a new chapel and to the show the video, but that will be a short trip of just 6 days.

Almost immediately after the second trip to Honduras, I will be joining a group from Palmetto Medical Initiative and Seacoast Church to go to Uganda and provide medical care. This is a kind of scouting trip for me...to see if there might be a future for me there. The dates are March 5-15 and you can expect an update about the "plan" when I return.

Then, in April, I’ll be heading to Brazil with my grandparents while they speak at a conference and travel around visiting and speaking at different churches. 

A very exciting prospect is on the horizon, one that will be life changing to say the least and which I am very excited to share. A few more details need to be finalized before I tell the story, though. (and no, I am not getting married, but it’s still pretty exciting. ;) 

Please check back over the next few weeks. I hope to post updates from Honduras and the video will be added soon as well. 

love to you all,

Mandie

Africa on my mind..

I remember a friend telling me years ago, "Don't ever go to Africa unless you're prepared to go back again and again. Once you've been there, Africa stays in your blood."  And at that time I was grateful that so far I had only been asked to go to Honduras, an easy $600 ticket and 3 hour plane ride away....

Anyone who has known me for more than a few weeks knows that I love all things Hispanic. Today I watched a movie that was filmed in Mexico and the birthday party scene made me nostalgic for a far away country that I consider “home”. When I hear Spanish, my heart skips a beat and when I speak Spanish, I feel like there's a part of me talking that doesn't exist in English. I wonder if others who speak two languages can relate. It's like now that I know both languages, I couldn't survive with just one or the other. My life has been made so much richer by the addition of acorazados, the music of Jesus Adrian Romero and Juan Luis Guerra and the friends I know only through Spanish. So, naturally, I have assumed that my "call" was to a Spanish-speaking, taco-eating, guitar-playing country down south. 

Over the last year, in spite of the busyness of nursing school, I have had the opportunity to travel to two new countries, one of them a whopping 9,000 miles away. I’ll admit that while I felt that God was calling me with a distinct purpose to both of these countries, I never imagined I would feel at home in either one of them the way I do in Mexico. But, I did. It occurred to me that maybe God created me to feel at home in whatever place he sent me to. What a gift. 

So, it is with something less like surprise and more like expectation that I find myself wondering if Africa could be my future “home”. From where  sit now, there are a lot of twists and turns between me...and then. But, I have had this happen before. My Friend puts a desire in me to go somewhere, do something...and then I begin to watch as the details fall into place the way the road seems to magically appears before you when you’re driving in the desert. I’ve been watching videos about Uganda. Swahili words are coming back to me from when I was 8 and first heard the beautiful language. I’m less and less surprised when friends mention an interest in the same place, an aunt who lives there, a new clinic being built nearby, an upcoming trip that they were hoping I'd want to go on. More and more on facebook, I see pictures, am directed to blogs and stories of people who inspire me, and find common threads tying me to this continent I have never seen. 

And so I continue to dream. It’s what I do best. A responsible side of me wonders about the details, what should I do RIGHT NOW? What if? What about? Where? How? And each time I ask one of those questions I am reminded about a time in the past when I asked a similar question. I retell the story to myself of how the exact amount of money was provided at the last minute in July of 2008, about how my life was protected in June of 2005, about how the perfect house was waiting for me next door to protective neighbors in a slum on August of 2005, about how a friend was provided to travel with me in August of 2009, about how I was in the wrong place at the right time in August of 2008 and was therefore protected, about how obedience placed me in dozens of situations that have provided me with friends and possessions more than any girl could ask for, about how food and shelter have been provided to me by strangers, about how I have never lacked anything, never been alone, and never needed to look back except to learn. 

And when I remember those things, I can’t help but dream about the future, tomorrow, and be prepared to just walk through the details as they come...in his time. 

on having nothing to do

[one of the little faces I miss]

A little over a month ago, I graduated from nursing school. After using “but, I’m in nursing school” as an excuse for the past 16 months, it’s taking some adjusting for me to realize that I am now free to spend the vast majority of my time doing whatever I want to do. So, I have learned pieces of Swahili, Portuguese, and Japanese, and vamped up my Spanish vocabulary. I've spent wonderful moments with friends, laughing, wondering about our futures, and learning to wait. I’ve spent countless hours on the road and the phone, rekindling friendships that have taken a back burner during nursing school. I’ve run, walked, and Wii-ed myself into a smaller pair of pants and then made several tons of Christmas Peppermint Bark for which I gladly pulled out the old pants again. I’ve experimented with lots of recipes and organized under my bed. I cleaned my bathroom, returned emails, and actually now have time to write. I've watched movies, played games with my family, and talked to my aunts on the phone. I've finally written letters by hand again and started reading history books for fun.

I’m not here to say that I haven’t enjoyed every minute of this so called freedom. I have. It’ been wonderful.

But, now that the dust of my freedom dance has settled, I am remembering why I was in nursing school to begin with. It was because there are people in the world who don’t have medical care. They don’t have food or water. I desperately want to go find the children who don’t have mothers. I want to give them the things that their hearts and stomachs need. And then, when their tummies are full, when they have been held and loved, when they have a bed and a blanket, if they ask why I am there, I will have the opportunity to tell them about a God who can fill up emptinesses that I can’t fill, who can heal hurts that I can’t heal, and who knows them better than I ever could. That is why I went to nursing school.

And now, I am sitting on a comfy couch in the US, wondering what to do next. There are so many options. I feel like an idiot for not wanting to get a job here in the states, for wanting to sell my car for a one-way plane ticket to Haiti or Africa and never come back (except for Thanksgiving!). My friends are getting jobs, husbands, and houses and I can almost believe that's what I want to do, too. But, then I remember why I went to nursing school. And that's when I decide that I should keep going to nursing school, get my masters, and then buy that one way ticket. Or maybe I could go to school from far, far away...there are so many options. I know exactly what to do, but the waiting, the unknown, and the dependance on God and others for guidance makes me feel somehow less than my friends who have managed to get their lives together, find a job, and create a plan, and carry it out already.

[the next day...]

this blog post sat in my drafts box yesterday as I tried to come up with an eloquent way to wrap up my frustrations and a plan for what to do with my life. While I can tell you that a plan is somewhat underway, the important thing is that my heart knows who holds it and that he is trustworthy, plan or no plan. Last night Rachel listened to an overview of what I have written above. When I told her how I couldn’t post it without “resolution” (lesson learned, new path started, plan created, ticket bought, etc), she said I didn’t need it. I just needed to do what David did in Psalm 103 and command my soul to get it’s act together and just praise the Lord for the fact that he’s got me, he’s going to take me somewhere, and I’ll be just fine. :)